Misplaced my soul, seen it?
| Saturday Evening | May 14, 05 @ 6:27pm |
| Why does every day feel like a waste? Its not fair that i'm being drained this way. lol
I moan too much |
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current mood: current music: |
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| Saturday | May 14, 05 @ 5:46am |
| Well.... Last night was mostly quite good. :)
Drank abt 5-8 bottles of beer.... and at least 13 shots.... oops. Hehe Stole 3 aftershock shot glasses, no idea why. I danced on K3 podium I got quite a few free drinks I think i hugged Sarah like every time i saw her Sarahs fit So is her mate Nat. woo. Though she was blatantly not interested in me. :( Ash came out. :) She came to the Kray but ended up with some lad apparently called paul, she seemed more interested in Leon then me too. Ah well. S'life. Pretty girl comes out for me, then loses me. Meh. DJ on K1 played some good songs (as i was leaving he play loads!) but never played my Saliva song :'( Found £20 on the way home! Woo! My heads calming down a bit now, woo. |
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current mood: Tad lonely, still quite merry current music: None |
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| Tuesday | May 10, 05 @ 7:28pm |
| Argh asthma. I hate it.
Got woken up by sony ericsson ppl arranging to come visit me tomorrow night, £20 for me, woo. Then i went and got my hair cut. :D Then i came home, showered and went to uni. :) Meeting went ok. I got a few good ideas about my exam and feel a bit more confident. :) After the meeting paul convinced me to go get some journal articles to revise for the automobiles module exam. :) Then paul kindly bought me lunch coz he cant go out with us on friday and thus cannot by me many drinks, though i might go to double vision (student night) on monday. Not sure yet. :) Then i walked down to the station, i walked through the gates and coming through the doors i saw Maddy, she reconised me smiled a hugggge grin n ran over and hugged me <3. Was beautiful. Highlight of my day, perhaps week. wow i'm easily pleased. I could live a happy life with a few nice hugs a day from someone nice. silly. Maddy is like maybe one of the only girls i know who i see who is always happy to see me. I wouldnt mind getting my 3rd kiss (well technically my 5th?) off her again lol. I rode to get my letter off caitlyn, she wouldnt wait 4 mins to see me, coz he dad was giving her a lift apparently. I don't know that i can believe her anymore. Her letters nice enough i guess, about to go to bed and continue writing her reply. My asthma is killing me. Perhaps i'll wake up dead. Ha what a strange phrase that is. :) |
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current mood: Leftovers of the happiness from my hug, worried a bit. ill current music: John 5 ~ Zugg island convict |
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| Monday evening/night | May 9, 05 @ 7:15pm |
| I really do conspire to make my own life just that little bit VASTLY more complicated. Hendi. I am just a fucking moron when it comes to women.
I like too many and i like so many coz i have no idea what the fuck to do abt it. I only want one, i want a girlfriend. I want someone to love and be with and be happy with. I just fuck everything up. coughing fits not good. bah So Hendi says she actually quite a huggy type person, hugs most ppl n gives them cuddles and shit. So thats more things to be jealous of these other people for. I mean they have girlfriends, why can't they stick with them instead of tryin after other girls. bah. Why is nobody faithful?! Random tears suck. I can't stop thinking i'm never going to find anyone real. I'm having enough difficulty finding real friends. Its just shite. Every day closer to my birthday, i find out more and more people aren't able to come out for it. Quality friends eh. :( Life consists of a series of 'once upon a time#s and yet more maybes and if onlys its not fair and yes i know its not meant to be fair but it could be a fuck of a lot better and it fuckin well should be. Why, for caring, do i get fucked over and ignored?????????????????????? |
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current mood: disillusioned current music: restless |
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| Monday | May 9, 05 @ 6:27am |
| Well. hmmmmmmmmm.
I still have my cold, it woke me up at fuckin half 5. But the strange thing is the way it woke me up. I dreamt that the pains in my head and joints and stuff and all got organised and been sperated into seperate spaces within my head and that all i needed was a way to calm down ones section of the pain in the back of my head, sure enuff when i woke up the only part of me that hurt was the back of my head. So i took some paracetamol and its fine now. Weird. :S Now i've got to get a shower, and then i've got to get to work swapping round parts on my bikes. Blergh. Judys off the giant, blacks off the supercross, rigids onto the giant, judys onto the supercross, blacks into my bag and then ride to the station and onto jais with them. My hairs going to be a big frizzy mess :'( |
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current mood: blergh ish current music: hit me~groove coverage |
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| Saturday | May 7, 05 @ 8:07pm |
| Looked forward to something i should have known i had no right to look forward to.
Did a good job at work, has anyone said anything? Course not. Jobs shite. People are shite Got a cold. Its descended over the past 2 hours. I'm destroyed right about now. :( |
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current mood: :( and ill current music: Rob zombie- never gona stop |
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| Friday morning | May 6, 05 @ 5:34am |
| Bored out me skull. Damn you people for texting back once then losing interest! DAMN YOUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuu. Hmm maybe a bit extreme, you could all busy. meh. Damned internet got me sayin meh. GRRRRR.
I wana see the sunshine after the raain, i wana see bluebirds flying over the mountains again, oh where is the silver lining shining after the rainbows end??? AH ah i wana wana lalalalalaala . Great song. HA! :D:D:D It is actually sunny. Which is cool. But. I'm stuck inside waiting to go to uni to meet up with my group of knobhead fellow students and work on the gay project that i wanted to finish last FUCKIN WEEK!. Cocks. Cookies, maltesers or Mr Kiplings apple pies for breakfast? Or a shower? Hmmmm showers calling pretty strongly. I do need one. Might even wash my hair and it'll go k'fuzz. GRRRRRRR! I feeling quite hateful today, but its being tempered by remaining feelings of sadness left after seeing the house of flying daggers last night. :( Its not fair. No hugs again. Ha. I want too much. A week to my birthday, this time next week i suspect i'll be like woo woo woo woo woo, oh wait, nobodies made an effort. Fuck it. *throws self off large building* Hmpf. I want my birthday to be good and i can't make it so coz it all depends on if anyone bothers to make an effort. Wish i could have more confidence in my friends and mates and family. :( 21. Old. Feel really out of place. I'm epically misplaced, heart, soul and mind. Be cool to have an artificial limb, then i could misplace that too. I kinda wana lose my leg so i can get a peg leg. But i'd go insane and die without being able to ride properly. |
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current mood: cold sad hateful current music: clarissa msi |
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