Misplaced my soul, seen it?
| Friday | Dec 24, 04 @ 12:51pm |
| Its christmas eve. It doesn't feel like it shud be christmas tomorrow. Weird.
Bin watching stupid christmas films and shit and now i wants a gf. Damn romantic soppy shit. *sigh* i'm going to get maybe a hug where so many other people i know will have so much more. I have to let go. I have nobody to hold onto and the one person who seems to have an interest isn't perfect and i want perfect so what do i do. Lifes so strange. |
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current mood: Lonely current music: nowt |
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| Tuesday | Dec 21, 04 @ 12:29pm |
| I got my hair cut. I am wearing my favourite clothes (lol) and i am supposed to be relatively happy. I'm not. After last night i can't be. I was so lost in the world. I don't want to write about shit on here in too much depth. But bleh.
I'm very broken. Very alone. Very not right. Everybody thinks i'm not quite right. HA. Help |
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current mood: i want a hug and i don't want to let go current music: |
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| Sunday | Dec 19, 04 @ 6:05pm |
| I forgot to write this past 2 days, well i couldn't be arsed.
Today i ate: bacon and chicken sandwich mars delight 12 kit kats roast dinner with minced beef pie I drank: 500ml bottle of fanta 2 glasses of coke 3 glasses of water This weekend has been both good and bad. Work was shit, it was so dead and there was nothing to do but everytime i stopped a supervisor or manager would turn up to bitch at me and people kept telling me i'm a lazy bastard. What would they know!?! I got home on saturday night and found that my mp3 player had arrived except they sent me a better one back. :D so i got a fixed mp3 player which has more memory and is worth like £100 more. Lol. That put me in a good mood. I didn't see caitlyn and seems like her fones fucked today so i can't contact her. I foned my friend last night and she was so :( and stuff happened to her which isn't fair, she has friends worse then mine. Its not fair, i wish i could help her so much. She seems happier today but i don't know if she really is. Shes so lovely and cute and ickle and gorgeous and she won't believe me. Shes one of the nicest people i know. Sunday, today was weird. Work was the same, boring with nothing to do. I can't help but feel that i'm totally out of place there, but then i feel that everywhere with people. Playing flashpoint before but now nobodys online. I don't like the generalised attitudes of people, i'm sick of people who see other people as objects and as things to use and then discard. Why do the shit people get the things i want? Who am i? Who am i supposed to be? |
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current mood: Confused current music: god smack, voodoo |
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| Thursday | Dec 17, 04 @ 12:22pm |
| Um I ate.....
2 apple pies pack of shorbread 3 kit kats Soup and 2 rounds of brown toast Chillie and 3 potato waffles I drank Litre and a half of coke 2 glasses of water glass of lemonade and orange I can't remember the day. It was stressful and boring |
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current mood: cant remember current music: Metallica st anger |
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| Wednesday | Dec 15, 04 @ 7:42pm |
| Today i ate:
4 rounds of toasted tuna fish sandwiches (brown bread) 2 sausage, beans potatoes, black pud 3 advent calender chocolates And i drank: 2 glasses of water 3 glasses of pepsi a glass of orange and lemonade I need to work. I need to not be broken. |
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current mood: paniced current music: Rob d clubbed to death |
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| Tuesday | Dec 14, 04 @ 6:58pm |
| Today i ate:
2 bread rolls 6 rounds of brown bread 8 chicken nuggets chicken burger n chips 4 kit kats And i drank: 3 glasses of water 4 glassses of pepsi Today i started my work. I only got a little bit of it done. I feel bad and worried. I am lonely. I want to find myself a girlfriend. I want people to talk to me. I didn't text anyone today apart from asking a mate from uni sumit. So aside from him nobody text me all day. I've not been out all day i've just spent abt 12 hours sat in my room. I have no life. I'd hoped caitlyn would text or fone. Course not. I'm trying to be happy but i'm too tired. |
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current mood: tired current music: none |
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| Monday | Dec 13, 04 @ 5:16pm |
| Today i ate:
12kit kats (ish) Plate of mince n veggies 5 grapes And i drank: 2 glasses of water 5 glasses of pepsi Today is wank. I don't know why i started using that word. I don't know what to be. I don't know who to be. I don't want to be in uni. Grrr. Caitlyn sez its not that she doesn't want me as a friend its that i make her angry, shes failed to explain how, so how can i attempt to fix what i'm doing wrong? Does she just want me to go away? Shes making me feel like a fekin stalker, not her friend. To think we were formerly described as soul mates. Hmpf. Maybe shes skitzo. I did no work. Shouted at for something i didn't exactly do. Oh the fun. My hair is to fucking long |
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current mood: depressed and lonely and tired current music: the wait, Metallica |
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| Sunday | Dec 12, 04 @ 5:51pm |
| Today i ate:
chicken and bacon sandwiches (brown bread!) 2 rounds huuuuuuuuuge plate of roast dinner (but with chicken ham and leek instead of a joint) Twix 4 kit kats I have drank: bottle of fanta 3 glasses of coke 2 glasses of water Today i was sacked off by caitlyn for her bf. What a surprise. Shes shite. I'm just stuffed. Don't want to do my essays :( |
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current mood: sad current music: radio one |
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