Nintendo
| new.. | Jan 11, 07 @ 8:15pm |
| Something I'd like to say to a few people, but never will.
1) I love you so much, probably more than anyone else in the world. Sometimes I wish I didn't. You are the person that is most critical of me. I know you just want me to be the best that I can be, but sometimes the things you say to me really hurt. Sometimes I don't want to love you, and I would have every right too. All those things you've done to her, I've not forgotton them, and I never will, you think you had a right too, but you really didn't. The things you did were so horrible, I can't believe she stayed with you, she's maybe the one person that loves you more than me. I hate how're you an alcoholic and I hate how I'll probably be one too. I hate how you're trying to live out your dreams through me, and I hate myself even more for feeling like I have to live up to them. You have no idea how much stress to put me under and how you make me feel. 2) I love you so much. I realize sometimes how badly I treat you, and I'm sorry, you've always been there for me, and I know you always will be. You are the hardest damn worker I know, and you always be, I'm sorry I can't be like you, I wish I could. Thank you so much for all you've done to me, I hope some day I can do the same for you. 3) You were probably the first real friend I had. Sometimes I wonder if what we had was even genuine, I know that seems like a horrible thing to say but it pops into my head from time to time. I think about all the great times we've had and how many firsts I've expirenced with you, and it hurts to think that those are probably some of the last good memories I'll have with you, I'm sorry I wasn't strong enough to take what kind of person you are and were and probably always will be, I just can't deal with all of lies, even though I know you mean no harm, everything has a breaking point, and I reached mine with you. I know we said we'd always be there for each other no matter what, and that we would always be each others true friends, but things change and so do people, I'll always be there for you, and I'll always love you, but I don't think anything can go back to way things were, which really sucks, because I loved being with you. 4) You're probably the most recent person I've befriended. I'm happy where things are, and where I hope they will go. Too bad it didn't happen till now though, better late than never right. I think you are one of the most kindest and interesting people I've met, and the more I learn about you the more I grow to love you, I haven't had a friend like this well, ever. When I think about all the things you've gone though and all of things you've done to yourself, and I see how you're still here today making the best of things it blows me away, you are one of the strongest people I know I hope you realize all the good qualities about you and all of things that make you a wonderful person. I hope you never think bad about yourself, you have no right to, never compare yourself to others either, they havent and probably never will expirence half of the shit that you've been though, so be proud of yourself for who you are. I love you a lot. 5) I know you're never going read this and that's okay because this is for me. I loved you so much you have no idea. I still think about you almost daily, I know it's not the same for you at all, and thats okay.. even though I wish it was. I'm sorry for all the stupid shit I did to you after we stopped talking, and i'm sorry for the drunken phone calls you've recieved, I wish you would just talk to you, you impacted me in a way you'd never imagine, I can't even think about ever opening up to someone like you again, you knew every single thing about me, and I knew everything single thing about you, at least I thought I did. But people change right? I still love you and I hope one day we'll be in contact again. 6) Sometimes I don't even know what to think about you. Sometimes I think you're a pretty cool person and you have a lot to offer. Other times I think you're one of the ugliest people ever and I wonder what the hell is wrong with you, and I don't blame people for not liking you. I wish you knew what you want in life, I wish you were more motivated, I know you could do so much with yourself if you only tried harder, you just have to believe in yourself. I doubt you ever will though. Just try to hold on to the people who really like you for you, they are few and far between. And one last thing, follow your heart, don't ever let anyone lead you in the direction you don't want to go. |
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Jun 11, 05 @ 2:05pm |
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| A thought:
Any "satire" which is aimed soley to mock others, and adds absolutely nothing to society but humor for the few who understand it, is totally useless. |
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| It is my greatest will.. I am sorry.. | Jun 10, 05 @ 12:43pm |
| Through my life. I feel I've caught fire to every flame I've passed.
And Im just here to apologize. To everyone I've hurt. And to all the faults I've brought into their lives. It seems I've ruined the lives of many. Not only have I caused total destruction to the life I was given. But I've clearly broughten depression, and distress to the family of my own. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I never turned out the way anyone has wanted me to. I just cause problems. And I never fix any of them. I dont put an effort towards anyone else in this world. I constantly think of myself and no others. I dont know how to live anymore. I dont know how to do anything right anymore. I'm sorry. I truly am. It just kills me. I'm truly pathetic. My ugly soul could never catch up to the true beauty life has. And I realize this now. Life is beautiful. It's only ugly when we make it that way. My world has distorted itself so much. It really makes me wonder when I'll see its beauty live again. And I'm sorry. Im so sorry. |
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