disappointment
Nov 4, 09 @ 10:15pm |
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| i wanna go to heaven...
God, please take me away... I don't want to live on earth anymore and make wrong decisions... No one understands this pain inside of me that makes me want to explode. literally... I feel like popping right now.. My head's tense and my heart hurts. Only You can take away my pain, God.. Please take it now. every conversation on this earth makes my heart cry out for happiness, and it never completely comes my way. She said everyone getting along was a joke, and i believED in it, until I was profusely shut down. Why can't we all just agree and function normally I asked... I get silence in response as to tell me there's no answer. There's never been an answer for me... Just want to slowly stop breathing... and drift away into a deep sleep where God can take me and love me forever without me messing up anymore... He has all the answers.. that's why I have none =/ |
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Oct 8, 09 @ 9:48pm |
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| I got your picture today...
I saw your mom today... I got two letters from you today.. and today... my heart felt like quitting... I feel so alone, as if I really am alone. When I looked at your picture.. I almost instantly put it away, but I just stared at it wandering what you're thinking about.. If I'm really what you want... Do I really want you to be in the army? ... do I really like the fact that you're gone for so long? ... do I actually like that I can't see you for four more month.. (possibly)..? .. No,.. I don't. FUCKING COME HOME! D; i honestly havent cried.. I feel so fucking numb that I can't. I don't even know how to show emotion anymore.. I'm not even kidding.. wtf. =[ fml. Robbb.... I've never been so desperate... ---- I'm sitting here trying to study, but I can't stop thinking about how confused I am about my own life... I just need one hug... I'm tired of sympathy shit.. I want results and answers.. Quit telling me it's gonna be alright.. I fucking know.. but right now I'm NOT alright. so, piss... I'm going to write to you Rob.. night. |
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| Baby, this has nothing to concern you with =] | Jul 11, 09 @ 10:09pm |
| Dear God,
Please hear my prayers. I have this great future I'm looking forward to and hoping to live.. and I dont want anything to get in the way of that. You can do anything, you're omniscient and all-powerful. You decide how I live my life, and I want you to pick the one that's best for me, not what I deserve. Because I most definitely don't deserve the life that I have or want. That would be the prayer that I beg for. You have my life in your hands and I dont know exactly what to do without you getting upset with me, and destroying my life. Please hear me, God. You sent your Son, and he gave his life, and yet I'm being selfish and asking for your mercy. I know you're listening... But will you answer?... I'm beggin for your mercy, Lord. I have so many bumps in the road already.. please relieve me from letting a big one occur. And I know this is a blog, but to viewers.. this is personal. God, people need you, and I defiantly need you... Please God, answer my prayer. I love you. I trust you. And I believe in you. This not so innocent, disappointment of a girl, Diane |
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Jul 2, 09 @ 6:25pm |
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| There's this part of my life that i've been looking for my whole life.. my life hasnt been going around that long.. but the sooner, the better.. there's a part that's created the best that i can be.. and i've never wanted to go back to the old me.. there's a part of my life where i've seen happiness that's beyond belief or explanation.. this part of me has expanded the way i look at life and my way of living.. i've become grateful for every second that i get because it could be my last.. and i wouldnt get that part of my life back.. the part that makes me strive for excellence.. for perfection.. to try my best with everything i try at.. if i ever lost this part of my life.. i'd go crazy, i'd have no direction for myself, hurt would come crashing down on me, all senses would be lost, i'd have no happiness or goal to run after.. nothing to look forward to.. this part of my life means the world to me.. i wouldnt trade it for ANYTHING.. i thank God everyday for this part.. it's a blessing for it to be part of MY life..im the luckiest girl alive..This part of my life IS my life.. i couldnt live without you, Rob. I love you | |
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| dear diane... | May 27, 09 @ 10:41pm |
| babyy i just wanted to tell you =) thatt i really loved the nottee todayy it ment a lot and yes to answer your question i do keep everything you write me lol
next time you have a change to talk to tiasia or someone else like that ask them about the me sending mail to their house and them giving it to you.... and mailing yours to me while i'm gone and babyy i just want you to know.. that i feel the samee way and i won'tt ever leave you let alone forget you...i seriously don't ever want another girl period like you havee no idea the tought of even kissing another girl makes me like sickk i just hate it... butt thanks again baby i'm serious that notee did wonders for me madee me feel more secure about uss and the way you feel and you waiting... =) i needed that a lot after mr.fugettes dumb spill lol chipilymthananything =) |
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Apr 7, 09 @ 9:59pm |
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She put him out like the burnin' end of a midnight cigarette She broke his heart he spent his whole life tryin' to forget We watched him drink his pain away a little at a time But he never could get drunk enough to get her off his mind Until the night He put that bottle to his head and pulled the trigger And finally drank away her memory Life is short but this time it was bigger Than the strength he had to get up off his knees We found him with his face down in the pillow With a note that said I'll love her till I die And when we buried him beneath the willow The angels sang a whiskey lullaby The rumors flew but nobody know how much she blamed herself For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath She finally drank her pain away a little at a time But she never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind Until the night She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger And finally drank away his memory Life is short but this time it was bigger Than the strength she had to get up off her knees We found her with her face down in the pillow Clinging to his picture for dear life We laid her next to him beneath the willow While the angels sang a whiskey lullaby |
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Mar 30, 09 @ 11:17pm |
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| you may know everything about me, but you'll never quite understand..
yeahh.. its brought up in your head, and you get pissed. you wanna yell and throw a fit. you just wish it wasnt a part of my life.. ..well turn the tables, darling. IFUCKINGWASTHERE. it happened to me. how do you think i feel when yo ubring it up, and put me down about it. i cant even live with myself the way it is.. when you nag about it.. it fucking plays over.. and over.. and OVER again in my head. ='[ i want it erased so bad. no one gets it.. |
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Mar 16, 09 @ 10:44pm |
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| piece.. by piece...
i'm falling apart. i drop to the ground, not caring if it hurts, because all i've felt is pain anyways. I'm just numb now. I see the blood slowing rolling down.. My thoughts are leaving me.. I'm starting to feel better with a clear head. I squint and see a figure walking towards me. My heart is hurting so bad.. The deep and oh so comforting voice says "I'm here for you diane, take my hand and I'll make your heart whole again." The light is so bright.. (ijustwantedtosavethissomewhereeee) |
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Jan 24, 09 @ 10:21pm |
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idk what i should say.. =1 |
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Jan 12, 09 @ 10:07pm |
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| =S
i dont feel well;; emotionally and chemically imbalanced. ='/ |
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