About to drink a fifth of the coke & rum, like a boss because fuck it.

It happened again today. Another one sold out, sacrificing their dreams to the corporate security machine.

Damn Whitehats, no one believes in a cause anymore.

Another bug was released today to the security mailing lists.

Damn Whitehats, they know not what they do.

Another potential computer genius was relegated to an existence of nothing more than than a 9-5 cubicle-dwelling promotional tool.

Damn Whitehats, putting money before discovery.

Another family was ravaged by corporations and governments bent on instituting control over individuality, monitoring every action...

Another kid was sentenced today for searching for a way to understand the world. Convicted and imprisoned, not because of what he did, but because of what others thought he could do.

Damn Whitehats - Fear keeps them in business.

The public, believing anything it hears from "reputed experts". Screaming for blood. Looking for something to blame for their lost hope. Their lost ability to seek out new knowledge. Fear consumes them. They cannot let go of their uncertainty and doubt because there is no meaning. They seek to destroy explorers, outlaws, curiosity seekers because they are told too. They are told these people that seek information are evil. Individuality is evil. Judgment should be made based upon a moral standard set in conformity rather than resistance. Lives are ruined in the name of corporate profit and information is hoarded as a commodity.

Damn Whitehats, you were once like us.

I was a Whitehat. I had an awakening. I saw the security industry for what it really is. I saw the corruption, the lies, the deceit, the extortion of protection money in the form of subscription services and snake-oil security consultants.

I wanted to know, I wanted to understand, I wanted to go further then the rest. I never want to be held down by contracts and agreements.

You say I should grow up. You say I should find better things to do with my time. You say I should put my talent to better use. You're saying I should fall in line with the other zombies and forget everything I believe in and shun those with my drive, my curiosity, tell them it's not worth it, deny them of the greatest journey they will ever experience in their lives.

I am not a Blackhat. The term is insulting, it implies I am the opposite of you. You think i seek to defeat security, when I seek something greater. I will write exploits, travel through networks, explore where you are afraid to go. I will not put myself in the spotlight and release destructive tools to the public to attract business. I will not feed the fear and hysteria created by the security industry to increase stock prices. I can, and will, code and hack and find out everything I can for the same reasons I did years ago.

I am a Hacker, don't try to understand me, you lost all hope of that when you crossed the line. You fail to see the lies and utter simplicity behind the computer security industry. Once, you may have shared my ideals. You fail to see the fact that security is a maintenance job. You've given up hope for something better. You fail to see yourself as worthless, fueling an industry whose cumulative result is nothing. I don't hate you, I don't even really care about you - If you try to stop me, you will fail, because I do this out of love -- you do it for money.

This is our world now.. the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin color, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat and lie to us and try to make us believe it is for our own good, yet we're the criminals.

Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for.

I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You can't stop me, and you certainly can't stop us all.

I suddenly felt the urge to keep all my writings in one place.
May as well let it be here, right?
Hence the explosion of blog entries from yours truly.
Because, it's not like I'll ever delete this shit anyway.
I've got too much work to do on DS still.
And by work, I mean everything from the occasional kind word to another or lulz for the sake of asinine amusement.
So, below are all my words.
Maybe some will leave you feeling touched, maybe they won't.
Maybe you don't give a good god damn, & for that I don't blame you.
Enjoy.

Motionlessly, yet moving, not a thought enters my head.
Though I feel my fingers awaken, the sensation feels so dead.

Shaking off the numbness, as I crawl out of this tomb.
I am a new born corpse, and this darkness is my womb.

Solidified like dried up blood, I feel my bones are cracking.
Fighting free of my own coma, toward the scent of what I'm lacking.

Light peers down to blind my eyes, in blurs they slowly adjust.
I've risen to my feet once more, and broken free from rust.

While sleeping, my memories soon return within my mind.
And during my long rest, I've forgotten just what I expected to find.

The scent still lingering with bitter sweetness stales my lungs like an ashtray.
Reminiscent of a lost consciousness that resembles my own shell in decay.

The webs around me cling to every surface from where I've stood.
I've been away so long, nothing around me feels as it should.

One step away from fully awakened, I raise my foot past the other's heel.
Lighting peering through cracks in the door before me, toward the world of the real.

Maybe you would understand, that life don't always go the way it should
But baby could you understand that I have tried, & fought hard as I could

Maybe you'd believe me if I said these months, & years have changed me.
I doubt you'd ever comprehend the feelings I've held inside for you baby.

Any maybe I have lost it all, my mind, my soul, but I know my heart's still beating.
Maybe you might understand, just what it's like when you're the one you are defeating.

I never thought I'd carry on, but I've moved on time, & time again.
Yet here I still do think of you, the only one I felt like loving since then.

The leaves, they will soon change again in months, & weeks that blur together slowly.
And if you should read these words, would you believe them like ones that you once told me?

They say that only fools will fall so deeply into what we shared.
Though maybe I was the only fool for ever feeling that you cared.

I hope one day you'll find me even if I'm near the end of my crazy life.
Maybe then you'll understand just how I felt when I pulled out your knife...

A Light that shone tonight was a splendor,
this crescent that shone above.
The night, my beauty with stars so divine,
you are my one true love.

I cannot describe at all what I'm thinking,
but I know how it seems in the rough.
In the night where I started inside so guarded,
I know I'll feel proud standing tough.

My skin thick like leather on the coat that I wear,
is immune of it's own share of hurt.
On my feet I remain never kneeling in shame,
no matter how deep I'm covered in dirt.

My heart so aroused by calm color in the clouds,
reminds me the shades in her eyes.
From twilight till dawn in my mind I am strong,
with a smile that abstains absent cries.

The paths that I've crossed so beaten so lost,
have made me lose some of mine.
Yet all that I feel & all that is real,
I've kept buried deep down with time.

So night I shall sing to you for all of the things I do,
& all of my self-told lies.
Feel her breath in my hair while her air is so fair,
I stare here alone in her eyes.

Her visage is the clouds without sun or sounds,
stars twinkle above rain before day.
Once at peace I feel rested wolf-like & untested,
a dream hidden in heart where I lay.