i woke from a dream, from a blaze of blood, death, and fire
followed by silence that was all I've ever wished of an existance so dire.
to all the blessed aesir who rule over valhöll,
I pray you leave me standing before the beginning of the end of life's fall.
so that I may be rewarded for all my wounds and pain,
to be counted in glory among the other honored slain.
to rise proudly before you in father odin's treasured hall,
as one of the last who stood fighting before hell consumed us all.
the last thing my blackened, empty sight would see,
letting go of all i used to be.
eyes turned to ash blowing into the darkness of space,
from whence we collide into nothingness displaced.
and for those of us few who fearlessly dare,
our eternal souls into a plain of unending drink, laughter, immortality, and warfare.
i hear their wings are flapping come to claim me from my corpse a prison like case,
to a place where valkyries fly beyond our world's darkest shadow of the moon's cold face.
i opened my eyes to see that none had come to pass,
and so awake i wait for the end and to shatter the world like glass.
[i'll edit this when i'm sober, but at least for now it's written]
Some things aren't meant to be easy, and some people really enjoy to make your way much more difficult than it has to be. I recently outsmarted a most feeble attempt at sabotage both on a professional and personal level, which in all honesty, means fuckall to me at the end of the day. My cowardly adversary's struggle to rise above me was for nothing, because I've already made up my mind that they're not going to win. There's no changing my mind- not when it comes to winning. So I guess the only thing I'd ask is; How does it feel to be targeted, set up, and slapped down to your proper title? Here's to the blind ambition that left you open for me to attack you, and the next asshole to come along after you. Moral of this entry: watch where you walk next time you try to step on someone else's toes. You just might get tripped and fall into a world of shit...
current mood: Thinking aloud in a thoughtful manner. current music:
A young boy is outside stomping on ants.
Over and over he stomps one repeating;
"You god damn ants, you god damn ants, worthless god damn ants."
A priest walks by and asks the boy what he's doing.
What are you doing, young sir?
I am killing these worthless god damn ants.
All of God's creatures has a place in this world.
Not these worthless god damn ants.
Well if you can tell me three things worthless in this world I'll let you keep killing them.
The next day the priest walks by again and sees the boy stomping the ants.
So, I take it you've found three worthless things in the world?
Yes, I have. Tits on a nun, balls on a priest, and these worthless god damn ants.
Have you ever felt at times as though you couldn't see what was directly in front of your face until it was too late? I've often said that there is no excuse for ignorance, but perhaps complete & total unfamiliarity is a probable cause for exception. One thought has ended while another has begun. I'm out.
I just came down ill, & it might cost me. It's like my body has been running on fumes lately at maximum torque. Maybe this is it's way of telling me to slow down, recharge, take a breath. I'm trying to cut out the drinking, but some days I feel an ice cold 12 pack is the only thing that can keep me going strong while feeling free in spite of all anger from day to day bullshit I'm confronted with regularly. All in all, I guess I can look back feeling grateful. It's been over a year now since I last felt the sting of addiction dragging me into hell's pit; since the day I overdosed, died, & came back to life; and since I nearly got sent away for attempted murder. From that perspective, I should be going through a little bullshit, because at least I'm still learning something as I go along in the grand scheme of things. I'm glad to say the saga of my extreme, no regrets, balls out, crazy life is far from over. But now I need to sleep, and also put the crazy thoughts to rest. I hope Andrea talks to me soon. Mother's day was pretty neat too, I got both of my mom's some jewelry and drank a six pack with the radio blaring (the last thing I should be drinking while I'm sick pretty much). Also, Wayne; you're fucking fired. That's the last time I ever eat your chili dude.
current mood: optimistic current music: puddle of mudd - psycho