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		11.20.2009
	by: Stompbox from: Imaginaryyyyyyyyyyyy.
Every morning he got up dreading each moment he had to be awake He’d look at the floor and scribble on gum wrappers He never found a better way to joke around The clock would tick, time was slow There wasn’t anywhere that he wouldn’t go to avoid Having to see anyone He’d sit in a chair and lean against the wall He just didn’t seem to matter much at all But late at night, he had a savior In his sleep, in his dreams She came to him and she said Poor you, poor you No one understands you Poor you, poor you And every word that everyone would say Got mumbled up in his head Like mumblejumble and everywhere he went It seemed everyone was saying to him Blah Blah Blah But late at night, he had a mistress In his dreams, in his sleep, And she would say Poor you, poor you No one understands you Poor you, poor you This story, though not well told, is not that old It’s not that funny, it’s not that great But I know it to be true Because late at night, I have an angel In my dreams, in my sleep And as she runs her fingers through my hair As I lay on her lap and she says Poor you, poor you No one understands you Poor you, poor you
current mood: current music: the time: 4:43pm (EST)
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UNDER THE MOON THEY DIE		11.20.2009
	by: TheJokesOnYou from: Things To Ponder As You're Passing By
UNDER THE MOON THEY DIE A wolf with the heart of a man? Lies! The emotions of these beings never told, never shown Under the moon they howl, under the moon they die Tyrants, out casted by the bitter man, oh my! Beautiful, admired protectors of the people that loathe them A wolf with the heart of a man? Lies! Blood, lust and strength all tempting yet some how shy Eyes full of life but their hearts full of stone Under the moon they howl, under the moon they die Running, fleeing, frustrated as they sigh Realizing they can never be just a man nor a beast A wolf with the heart of a man? Lies! Wounded by the perpetual sorrow of being a monster, they cry A power not even their own can control, but a gift Under the moon they howl, under the moon they die Love within the shadows, strength within the pack’s ties Racing through the woods, fighting for a salvation unknown A wolf with the heart of a man? Lies! Under the moon they howl, under the moon they die
current mood: Inticing current music: folk music the time: 3:47pm (EST)
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i feel homeless		11.20.2009
	by: xhollowxdreamzx from: xhollowxdreamzx's blog
So I have been married for 8 months now. I love my husband endlessly. Next to my daughter he is my favorite person. Well, i haven't worked since I was about 3 months pregnant. My husband used to work as a prison guard. He made $2,200 a month. He got into trouble at work a few times, and he hated the job anyway, so he quit his job. Since then we have lost our home. We didn't own it. It was a rental, but it still hurt to lose our first real home. Now, we live with his mother. I absolutely hate it. I don't want to live here. She pays all the bills. She has to pay for everything. We get foodstamps so we buy groceries. We try to buy what we can. We buy all of the baby stuff. We buy all of our own stuff. I just dont like being in someone elses house. I am not comfortable here. Not at all. My husband works in the kitchen at a bar. He only makes minimum wage, and he is lucky if he gets to work more than 3 hoursna day. I hate this. I feel like a bum cause i don't work. I stay at home with the baby all day.
current mood: current music: the time: 12:53pm (EST)
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Words Can Hurt		11.20.2009
	by: Baby-Vamp from:
Everyone gets angry. But, what happens when the words that we say while angry cause someone’s death? People say things they don’t mean all the time. Teenagers do it a lot but so do adults. We tell our parents we hate them if we don’t get our way, or sometime we’ll even say, “I wish so-an-so would drop dead”, and if we’re really angry with someone we’ll say “Go kill yourself!” Words hurt more then physical pain and that’s something people don’t seem to realize. There’s a saying that many of us know, “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me”. Many of us believe that saying was true. But as we get older we begin to realize how much those “words” hurt. I don’t mean like cuts and bruises, but much deeper. Everyday we hear the drama that fills the halls of the high schools, work, and even simply walking down the street. Someone is complaining about a boyfriend or girlfriend cheating or so-and-so broke up with me. Then there’s the occasional fight because someone said something to or about someone else. During the emotional break ups or other occasions they say things to one another they don’t mean. Let’s use relationships as an example. The ex-girlfriend calls the boyfriend a “cheating jerk” and the ex-boyfriend calls her a “tramp”, the names continue back and forth causing the problem to get bigger and bigger until one day the ex-boyfriend goes “Go die in a ditch you’re just a waste of space”.” As the days go by after hearing this she begins to ask herself, “Would things really be better without me?” or “I’m such an awful person. He’s right.” So, the girl kills herself because of “words’. As the rumor goes through the halls of the high school people start to place blame. As soon as the news reaches the boy he starts to say, “It’s not true” or “It’s a lie or a cruel joke”. But, sadly, the news is true and he wishes he had a chance to fix things and tell her sorry or that he didn’t really mean it. Regret, it’s one of the many feelings you feel when someone kills them-selves over something you have said. Why is that? They feel regret because they let their anger talk for them, they didn’t get to say sorry. What’s the meaning of regret? Depends, it could be the act of feeling sorry for yourself or your actions, or the fact that you never got to tell someone how much they meant to you before it was to late. It can be expressed and defined in so many different ways. It’s how you want to define the emotion, how it effects you. Think about it, you tell someone to “Go kill yourself!”, then you find out they did. They’re dead. Sometimes when you find out someone killed themselves you say, “It can’t be true, and it’s a joke, a lie, come on where are they?” But, it’s the sad truth. Death is forever, that’s how we need to start thinking of it. Look at it as if you’re telling someone to get out of your life forever. Ask yourself “Could I stand not seeing this person ever again no matter how angry I am with them today?”. Forever is another word for Always, and if they’re always gone, you’ll never get the chance to show that person how much you really care about them. It would be like your best friend moving away to another country, no longer able to contact you. No one is perfect, but no one should let their anger get to the point they wish someone dead. If someone said it to one of your family members or a close friend and then that person actually killed them self, wouldn’t you feel upset? Or even angry towards the person that had caused it? Imagine you and your best friend got into a fight, and your friend tells you “everyone’s lives would be better if you were dead”. That night, your best friend commits suicide. Could you stand knowing that person was dead because of something you said out of anger? Or would you feel guilty, sad, or even angry with yourself? Anger is one of the worst emotions, we let it over power us and we end up saying things we don’t even mean. It’s not so much the emotion so much as the words we allow to tumble past our lips during the act of anger. Self-Control is something everyone needs to learn when he or she gets angry. If you get angry with someone, walk away and go do something you know will calm you down till you’re ready to talk to the person and work the problem out. Don’t make the problem escalate to the point you say or do something that you’ll later regret. Every now and then take a break from your group of friends and give yourself some alone time when you know a problem is about to arise. Even if its to simply rant to yourself over the smallest of things. Don’t let your anger get to the point you don’t even realize what you’re saying until its to late to take it back or that friendship is completely gone for good. So, like the saying goes, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all”. Those tiny words are so true. If we can all just learn to find another way to release our anger until we can calmly talk to a person that is causing the anger. Just take a breath, sit down, close your eyes, or even go for a run. Just do something to calm your nerves and relax for a while. But just remember, forever and always are the same words. If you couldn’t live without that person as a friend or even if they were gone forever don’t let anger run your mouth and take that person away from you. Because once they’re gone, they may never come back.
current mood: Thoughtful current music: NOne the time: 9:55am (EST)
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Ha (:		11.20.2009
	by: Astroderm from: ☮
I got suspended from school for slapping some girl in the face. Good times.
current mood: current music: the time: 9:51am (EST)
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Confession		11.20.2009
	by: ADifferentKindOfPain from: Confession [20, November 2009]
I have not always done the right things in life and not the best things in life. I've tried always to do my best in everything that comes my way or what I want to do in my life. I'm the most stubbornness person when it comes to things also. I hate to give up on anything. Even when I know it's impossible. I keep trying. I'll give up on it for a while then always come back to it. I've always been taught my entire life not to give up. I've given up on high school 6 years ago. Because it was just too late to save my arse. That was the only time I've truly every gave up on anything. I regret it to this day that I did. And it was the biggest mistake to do. I'm not the best person to love. I'm the easiest person to love. It's hard to love me no matter what you would like to think. If you ever dated me. You'd know I'm very complicated. I get angry at times and you wonder why you picked me out of so many. Maybe everything I tried always comes back to my first love. We've fought endless wars together. Trying to date each other 17 times. No bullshit. And it wasn't worth the blood and tears me any her fought. I've took swings at her emotions and mentally and she did it back. She was revengeful and I did it back to her. We never really worked on anything. We always procrastinated. And maybe that's why I'm failed so many times at relationships every time afterwards. Because I'm so scared that it will just be another repeat with just a different face. That I try so hard not to make it happen. Try to turn the page to a clean one. But I'm always backtracking in the story and it just happens all over again. I still blame myself for the shit I've done to this day. It's always there to haunt me. Even as I write this I'm losing myself to the thoughts and memories of the past. Because I've never managed to let go of something I should. But, I've never really found inner peace in myself. Because I've never found it. I never will find it. Because what makes me think I deserve anything from the regrets I've made. They say that you should never regret anything. It's a lesson you take and it makes you stronger. But what happens when it doesn't make you stronger? That it only makes you worst. Because the memories are so tied up inside that I can't look at another face without thinking of the past. I'm so far from gone you couldn't even tell. I don't think I could ever be saved because you'd want to deal with the baggage I come with. 7 girlfriends later. Each one couldn't deal with my shit. I just wish I could find someone that could save me from my own self. Someone that wouldn't leave me when I had my bad days. Someone who wouldn't play games with my head. Someone just to show me that they bleed just like me. So I know I'm not in it alone. I just want someone to stop the war inside my head.
current mood: current music: the time: 8:05am (EST)
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Suffocating Right		11.20.2009
	by: ADifferentKindOfPain from: Confession [20, November 2009]
From beneath the bedroom floor It is hunting me Silence clicking off the door And it sucks me in Was I right to overstep the border that leads me to this place? Was I right to ignoring all the warning signs Accepting to fall from grace? Am I suffocating right? Is there anybody watching? Is there anything inside That might keep me here Am I suffocating right? Is there anybody listening? Is there anything inside that can stop me here? From behind the bedroom door it is calling me A silence never felt before and I am still crying Was I right to overstep the thin line that keeps me from this place? Was I right to rejecting all the spoken words ignoring to fall from grace? Am I suffocating right? Is there anybody watching? Is there anything inside that might keep me here Am I suffocating right? Is there anybody listening? Is there anything inside that can stop me here
current mood: Confused current music: Neuroticfish - Suffocating Right the time: 7:26am (EST)
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lost little things		11.20.2009
	by: rikatsu from: One letter from Death
what is this thing called? the heart pumps? or does it beat? pumping blood to everyting in our bodies to keep us alive. beat for love to keep us sane everyday i lose myself in your eyes want more and more just to get lost in those eyes what are these lost little things? those gems you call eyes? stolen from the gods just to see the light? give me my heart you lost little thing stop looking for what you already have. put your hands on your chest. do you feel my heart in there? feel my skin warm against yours hold on tight. never let this thing go i am one of those lost little things like a chest of gold lost at see. you found me. a small gem amongst the coal hold on to your secret from anyone but me am i like all the others? am i truely yours? fold our fingers together. kiss me and see for yourself. why do we find love just to throw it away? is it that we find our gem to be small compared to someone elses? can you be dirt poor and still hide a small gem away? is love a lost little gem? can you keep it forever?
current mood: current music: the time: 3:56am (EST)
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still a child to the game		11.20.2009
	by: rikatsu from: One letter from Death
i can see it its as clear as day you siting there like a child playing in my blood drawing on the walls going down the halls slowly draging my soul you talk to your freind the one that no one no one but you saw they said you were crazy that your friend wasnt real but dear i'm the testament he was as real as the knife the knife now in my back you held me there saying i love you i trusted you but you held me still as the blade slid right into my soul as i fell to the ground you luaghed and pointed showing me my blood all upon your hands and face laughing as you say i like this color i try to scream as you reach in in to feel my still beating heart ewww warm you tell me as you smear smear my blood all around can you see it yet you ask me i ask why did you do this as you pull the knife from my back i realize now as you thrust it back your still a child to this game
current mood: current music: the time: 3:16am (EST)
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		11.20.2009
	by: rikatsu from: One letter from Death
biteing me till i bleed blood covered and soaked in tears i am that which is hidden hidden from the light covered in bites and chained to your heart never letting go holding me tight abuseing the love useing everything i had against me already fell down but still hopeing to fall beating me down further into that hole in your heart trying to fill it up with the likes of me holding me in this bitter cold heart i am foever cold never able to warm cry out of shame hateing out of love never knowing that if you let go i would be lost
current mood: current music: the time: 3:15am (EST)
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