| Monday |
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Right. How confused and screwed am i. Went to Paulas party on sunday night and Tyne turned up. The party was good and i got to speak to Tyne for ages and she kissed me properly as she left. Damnit i want her to be here.
I thought i'd get to see her tonight but i didn't in the end. Then i thought i'd get to see her again tonight. With her kissing me and saying the things she said last night i thought that she'd finally decided that she wanted me. But shes being all funny all over again. She says shes scared of a relationship scared of hurting me scared of being used and about a million other things. Shes very independant and she doesn't know if she has time to see me if we went out.
I spent half an hour on the phone to her trying to convince her she was wrong and i just failed. I then spent ages texting her trying to convince her to give me a chance and i still think i failed. Rob n gray think shes just trying to fob me off, but surely she'd just say she doesn't like me? Shes not had a proper relationship before so far as i can tell, but she has had like one night stands and stuff i think. I want a relationship and she seems to be scared of the commitment that would require. ARGH
I might get to see her tomorrow night. Shes fucked up all my head again, all i can think of is seeing her. Any thoughts of a job or anything else are gone. I want to see her to hold her and to be with her. ARGH |
current mood: rejected
current music: random stuff |
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